Technology is Killing Society

Nearly 200 years ago, a rodent-infested Japanese ship horribly crashed and ran ashore a rocky, un-inhabited island. This was the magnificent birth of Rat island, as dubbed by a dashing sea captain. Recently the island has been lacking in the usual sounds of the cheerful birds that sing their wonderful songs. It is commonly known that rats are the spawn of Satan and Chuck E Cheese. Which brings some scientist to be sure that the rats have eaten most of the birds on the island. These ferocious hunters bring down their prey in a blaze of glory, and are estimated to have killed around 40 million sea bird nests. The only option to save the island is to drop rat poison pellets on it from helicopters. This will bring an end to the horrible creatures we call rats.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/11/28/ratisland.ap/index.html

The War on Terror

Friday, the senate blocked another Democratic funding bill that would supposedly pay for the Iraq war and set a date for withdraw. The 53-45 vote was 15 votes short of the 60 needed to advance. Republicans struck back with their own plan with "no strings attached" that just funded the war with no withdraws. This bill didn't pass either. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said the only way to get troops the money was to approve the restrictions outlined by Democrats. He doesn't know what he's talking about, he is just being very irresponsible. If a new funding bill doesn't pass soon, then the Army will start having to lay people off to still be able to fund the war.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/11/16/iraq.funding.ap/index.html#cnnSTCText

Sports Sports Sports

Two on NASCAR's finest racers, Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson, still amaze many as they remain two peas in a pod. Their friendship throughout all of this rivalry has NASCAR legend Rusty Wallace scratching his head. He sees them as respecting each other, but still both playing for keeps. This teammate friendship is truly amazing, with Nextel Cup right around the corner, these boys better but their friendship behind them and drive a car like no ones' ever driven one before. Both still say they are willing to race aggressive with one another, even though they have vacationed together and hang out all of the time.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/racing/11/15/bc.car.nascar.homestead.ap/index.html

Election Time

"No Way in Hillary"

The pathetic figure the Democratic party calls it's front runner former first lady (lady is an overstatement) has recently responded to what she called mudslinging from other candidates in her party, well Mrs. Clinton here's another batch of dirt from your's truly. You have no right to be a candidate for the nations highest office. Other than picking out the official China pattern and a moronic health bill, your time in the White House with your husband Slick Willy was about as useful as planting corn in the Sahara. You have no experience as a chief executive of anything, you were never a governor or head of a company and the most you have done as a senator is get funding for Manhattan after 9/11, I bet that was a tough decision. Even though you can't seem to make a stand on any issue, and if you do you can't explain why, it is still easily visible that you are just a pinko commie in disguise, socialized everything and taking money from the professional classes and giving it to the poor sounds a lot like what happened in Russia in 1917 to me. Hillary, you stand for everything that is Un-American, i.e. indecision, socialism, and weakness. So, Mrs. Clinton stop asking for pity and votes because you're a woman, and go back to whatever hole in Quebec you crawled out of.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/11/16/debate.follow/index.html#cnnSTCText

The Business Section

Recently, on November 16, Marc Gunther, Fortune Magazine Senior Writer, wrote about Wal-Mart and it's struggles to help the environment. Some of the many unknown eco-friendly facts about Wal-Mart is that they employ 15,695 American Indians, sold 100 million compact fluorescent light bulbs, and encouraged its employees to lose weight, and heard back that they lost, collectively, 184,315 pounds. That's a lot of pounds. Wal-Mart put out this information due to recent attacks on the policies they have. Such as the fact that they manufacture there products in China so they can pay the workers less there. I think that's a good thing, it just proves that American made products are worth more and should be sold for more because they are made by hard-working American citizens who just want to make a good living.


http://money.cnn.com/2007/11/16/news/companies/walmart.fortune/index.htm?postversion=2007111616

TECHNOLOGY

Scientist have finally solved the problem of too many cockroaches. They have invented robotic cockroach that infiltrates the base of real cockroaches and convinces them to leave their home. The trick is that roaches travel in groups so if the robot is a leader then the others will follow. Instead of solving more pressing issues like the war on terror or global warming, scientist and the world smartest people are making robotic cockroaches. This is bad news for exterminators, looks as if they are out of a job.

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1684427,00.html?cnn=yes

Indiana, The Best State Ever

On Sunday, in Henry County, a man named Earl Hunt was arrested with two Class D felonies for conspiracy to illegally ship wildlife, and for illegally selling or shipping wildlife. Hunt also was charged with Class C misdemeanors for illegal sale to a non-licensed fur buyer, failure to issue a valid and dated receipt, and illegal possession of 40 raccoons and two beavers. The police raided his home and found 40 raccoons and two beavers, wow, that's amazing. Apparently, this has been a two year process of shipping coyotes and other wildlife illegally for use in penned dog-running facilities in other states.

http://www.in.gov/newsroom.htm?detailContent=113_12658.htm

Local Happenings

Today, a tragedy has occurred in our hometown of Anderson, IN, a local man, only 19 years of age, has stolen a trumpet from Grace Baptist Church. He is facing 20 years in prison for burglary, a Class B felony, and theft, a Class D felony. The young mans' name is Jeffrey J. Williams Jr., and is being held in the Madison County Jail on a $20,000 bond. He is facing serious charges and reaping the consequences for his actions. The event actually happened on Halloween, but Williams was arrested today. When interviewed he said "I just wants to play the blues."

http://www.theheraldbulletin.com/local/local_story_318141650.html

In Related Health News

Recently, more than 1 million cases of chlamydia were reported in the United States last year. This is the most one STD reported ever. A new record for America, I think we deserve a round of applause. America is the best at everything, even STD's. Doctors also say that other STD's are on the rise too; such as syphilis and gonorrhea. These diseases are caused by sexual intercourse with someone who already has the disease. But some say this is good news, the recent increase in numbers proves that the new screening technologies are working.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/conditions/11/13/std.rates.ap/index.html

News of the World

Recently the Pope has released his plans to visit the United States of America next year around April. He plans to visit the many wonders of America such as the White House, ground zero and has plans to speak at the United Nations meeting. He will also enjoy himself at Yankee Stadium where he will be eating hot dogs and hopefully catching some fly balls. He will not be traveling much because the pope-mobile gets only 5 miles to the gallon, and with recent gas prices sky-rocking, the pope would be broke by the time he returned to Italy.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/11/12/pope.us.ap/index.html

America, How's It Hangin'

Recently in San Fransisco, California, dozens of dead seabirds were found littering the coast of the San Fransisco Bay. The birds were found to be coated in some sort of black goo, this may be due to the 58,000 gallon oil spill, scientist are still scratching their heads. What a weird phenomenon, oil spills in the San Fransisco Bay and then, mysteriously, birds are found dead coated in a black goo. It is predicted that this will effect wildlife for many years to come. Some still ask the question, "Why did it take the coast guard this long to report this incident?" I believe it's a government conspiracy to destroy all things that are wonderful and pure, such as seabirds and mermaids.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/11/09/bay.spill.ap/index.html

The War In Iraq, Good or Bad?

Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki promised Saturday to smoke out Kurdish separatist rebels using Iraq as a base to launch attacks into neighboring Turkey. The Iraqi leader spoke at a gathering of Iraq's neighbors and other Arab countries held to discuss the future of the war-torn country. The meeting, however, has been overshadowed by the crisis along the Turkish-Iraq border. U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice made a guest appearance to discuss joint cooperation with the three countries agianst Kurdish rebels.

It's That Time Again, Election Time!!!

News today from the Senate, Sen. Barack Obama has missed the most votes of any Democratic presidential hopeful in the Senate over the last two months, including a vote on an Iran resolution he has blasted Sen. Hillary Clinton for supporting. The Illinois Democrat has missed nearly 80 percent of all votes since September. The other Democrats in the Senate running for president have missed a high percentage of votes as well. This means things are not looking good for Democrats running for office.

The Briefcase Society aka Business Men (or Women)

Breaking News today in the world of business, the cat has gone up in value in New York City. Animal lovers are now clamoring for cat cross-breads, your move dogs. The reason for this recent craze is due to a breakthrough in cross-bred cats who do not shed and are now sold by designers. These cats cost up to around $22,000 and are no alley cat, these cats come fully vaccinated with a microchip identifier, a supply of kitty food and cat toys, access to an animal behaviorist and a year of veterinary insurance included. The people in charge of this say they will only produce around 50 cats a year, so the availability is unbelievable.

Good Old American Sports!!

All eyes will be on Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon, two NASCAR legends, this weekend. With three races left in the season, Gordon holds a nine-point edge in the standings over Johnson. The tension is high, red-necks everywhere are anticipating the upcoming race this weekend in Texas. Johnson has a better record at the Texas tracks and some believe this could be the advantage he needs to overtake Gordon, who plays for keeps. Gordon says he can only do really well or do really bad, it's all up in the air right now.

The Problem's Plain To See: Too Much Technology

In more depressing news, Washoe the signing chimp has passed and gone to a better place. She was the first non-human to acquire human language by sign language. She was born in Africa in 1965 where she was raised until taken to America. She has been residing at the Central Washington University of Ellensburg campus since 1980. Her keeper said she had a vocabulary of about 250 words. She died of natural causes in Washington, her memorial will be held November 12.

Health Health Health Health

On Thursday, General Mills recalled around 5 million frozen pizzas in fear of E. coli. The brand names of these pizzas are Totino's and Jeno's, which is very scary because that is the kind of pizza i eat all of the time. The contamination is believed to come from the peperoni's produced at the General Mills Plant in Ohio. The peperoni's are produced at a different supplier and General Mills will not release the name of the company. This product has been supplying General Mills since July, and 9 out of 21 people have become ill after eating such pizzas.